Whether you’re in college and didn’t have a say in who your roommate was or you were in a pinch and decided on a roommate without doing due diligence, the two of you may not get along. If, for whatever reason, this situation escalates, your roommate may stop speaking to you altogether. Here’s how you can deal with it.
In order to handle the problem effectively, you’ll need to do your best to understand why your roommate stopped talking to you.
There are a number of different reasons your roommate would stop speaking to you. Consider all of the reasons that could be. Even if that means retracing your steps or consulting with others, you’ll need to do your best to figure out what it was that triggered your roommate to stop conversing with you.
Perhaps you offended them in some way, or maybe you two got into a fight, and they haven’t moved past it. Maybe they’re just upset that you left dirty dishes in the sink. With so many reasons out there, it’s essential that you have a conversation with your roommate to understand why they decided to stop talking to you. Understanding why will help you take the best course of action. After all, you wouldn’t want to break your lease if your roommate was just looking for a simple apology!
Once you think you have an understanding of why your roommate stopped talking to you, you can sit down with them, text them, or call them to try and figure out how to remedy the situation.
The conversation that you have will your roommate will determine what your next steps are. Here are a few “for instances” and how to handle each one:
You offended your roommate in some way
No matter what you did, your roommate didn’t like it, and they took it extremely personally. Evaluate what you did and make an effort to understand exactly why your roommate was offended by it. Then, make it right! Apologize first and foremost for offending your roommate. Then, ensure that a situation like that won’t happen again.
Maybe your roommate lost their job, and they can no longer afford to pay rent or contribute to utilities. Perhaps they’re going through a personal problem with their parents or significant other, and they just want to work through it privately. Whatever the reason, your roommate may have stopped talking to you because they can’t bear to face you. If you surmise that this is the reason they aren’t speaking to you, give them some time to come around and share their problems with you. If money becomes an issue, you may have to talk to them sooner to get the problem resolved.
Does your roommate spend a lot of time in their room? Have they stopped going to class or work? Has their social life taken a downward spiral? They might be depressed. Whether they have a past with depression or a recent event lead them to become depressed, their lack of communication could be a cry for help. If you think your roommate is suffering from depression, get them the help that they need right away.
They’re just shy!
If you’re in a situation with a new roommate, it could be that they’re just shy and need some time to open up to living with you. Create situations where you can get to know each other better. Plan a game night; schedule a happy hour; order and pizza and talk about your likes and dislikes. No matter what you do, making a plan to hang out with your roommate shows effort and will make them feel more comfortable getting to know you.
It’s important to remember that you and your roommate have to cohabitate! You share most of your expenses, which means having an open channel of communication is pretty important. If your roommate stops speaking to you, do your best to figure out why then take steps to remedy the situation. If you have any additional suggestions, be sure to add them to the comment section below.